diplomacy…
socializing in a small community is never an easy task, especially if there’s a big chance that you would see your rival evertday on your way to class, if those social relations are not handles properly….
even in a small community, small groups are inevitable…people group among each other maybe due to common interest, common motive/aim, or even due to lack of sense of belonging in other groups……true unity seems quite impossible as people wanna have control of what they do, how they spend their time…etc…so unless there’s armaggedon hitting earth….you will never see everyone direct their attention to a common thing…
people grouping with each other due to common aim will loose something to aim for after the goal has been achieved….and grouping with each other will seem pointless…and thus the only thing that can hold these people together is the past…..a truly strong sincere bond formed in the past could ensure the desire to group together in the future…
between small groups some difference in belief and goal is inevitable….even tho overall everyone is heading towards the same goal…and thus, there might be arguements, conflict about who is doing things the right way…
of course, it’s easy to take sides….and it’s even easier to go to the side which seems more stronger, influential and popular….
but who would take time to listen to both side of the story…..look at a certain issue from different angles, and to give it an optimistic evaluation….
i wouldn’t say i am very diplomatic person……but i would never take sides….if there’s a certain conflict between 2 parties, you can always find me standing at the center trying to be neutral or trying to get out of the way…..
when sombody complain to me about somebody…whether i know this person or not….the whole conversation would sound like me being skeptical about what the person is telling me…and it might seem to the person who tell that i don’t trust what they tell me…..
actually i do have a piece of ruler in my mind to judge….but i always try to listen but not judge (it’s very hard, you know)….try to be objective in the issue…
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being diplomatic and hypocritic might seem totally opposite, and yet, very close to each other…..if one tries to be diplomatic but is careless of his words and action….he will be an hypocrite in others’ eyes…
a person who is diplomatic might seem as if he has alot of friends….but on the other hand….in his attempt to stay neutral, he slowly looses the sense of belonging in either groups…..he would always be treated as a friend….but not one who could be entrusted with ugly secrets….as the fear of information leaking to the other group would be too big of a risk…..there’s always a barrier….giving him a feeling that he couldnt blend well…..there’s the signs, small talks, certain symbols within the group that only understandable among ppl in that group…they laugh among themselves, use certain eye contact etc…..all telling him that he doesn;t really belong there…
he would be the bridge of communication between 2 groups who do not usually intetact….he is the clown who try to keep the social event flow smoothly without awkwardness…an yet he’s always forgotten in that certain social event…..afterall, he’s just the tool of communication……
there’s a high probablility of a person being neutral to be the target whom anybody would complain to…..and thus he might be the one who knows the most….and yet could tell the least…..and might seem that he knows nothing to the others…
for example….2 person staying together has conflict among each other but wish to keep the seemingly harmonious relationship in the house. so they find a person to complain about…..but, when who they find to complain to is the same person…..the burden is now on the “diplomat” who has to choose what to talk about, what to tell and what to keep away from the conversation…so that their wish to keep the fake harmonious relationship would be achieved…
the person who complain will always end the conversation with “don’t tell anyone about this ok, i trust you”…..buying an assurance that his secret would not leak, and when it does, he knows where to turn his arrow to….
and thus, it’s the job of this so called “diplomat” to make smooth turns around conversation to avoid sensitive issues and yet keeping the conversation real….they don’t lie, they just do not tell….(lying would be a sign of hypocracy，wouldn’t it??)
he has to constantly deal with 3 different ideas : 2 contrasting ideas from the conflicting parties and one from his judgemental ruler in his mind….in his attempt to stay neutral, he always has to ignore his own judgement, as to not influence his objective view on the issue,,,..to avoid any bias in handling issues….thus, he always comes with questions, rather than answers in a conversation, letting the conflicting parties find their own answers….ignoring his own judgement might give the impression that he does not have his own opinion, and that he could be manipulated to either party,….which is not true….
at the end of the day. this diplomatic person who does not belong to any group, would have to take care of himself when he’s in trouble…..because he is expected to be able to handle the tension, the stress and to overcome it…. so he will be left alone to take care of himself….
