the worst thing about preparing for exam….
in my opinion, not that you will not understand what you study or if u remember what u study, but is the loneliness u have to endure during the whole period of time…
it’s like you are fighting alone and there’s no one there to help you….i mean, of course everyone else is preparing for the same exam, and studying the same thing, and you are not the only one having to have less sleep and books 24/7…..but in the end of the day, it still depend on you and you alone whether or not you could answer the questions in the examination hall…..
the pace and capacity of everyone to absorb the stuff that we learn is different. thus everyone has different pace of learning too…some prefer to take it slow and steady, and finishing just on the day before exam, while others prefer to read through everything fast and repeat it over and over again. either way, it still depends on you alone. there’s no one there to help….
this semester i only have microbiology. and we (my batch mates) have been preparing since before new year. u can see everyone start to have different sleep cycles. some prefer to sleep in the morning because they can study better at night. and others visa versa.i hardly see them walking on the corridor…..and i was so happy to see them… and talked like we never seen each other for ages…
in fact, we all feel the same fear for exam, we all suffer from insomnia in one way or another, just that we do not share about it, or at least we were too busy preparing for exam that we never bother to entertain the emotion. but in fact, emotion and stress management play important roles in exam. it feels rather comforting when you realise that you are not the only one feeling nauseous prior to exam, that you are not the only one having trouble with some questions having no mood to study etc…
that is why it’s not unsual if u see me online 24/7 during my exam period. i usually on msn, hoping that somebody i know would talk to me, keep me company for at least a few minutes, or perhaps just a change of greetings…it’s enough for me to recover from my chronic monophobia…
when you visit my room and i am watching movie or show, don’t think that i’ve finished studying and too free to watch. i am actually trying to adjust my emotion and keeping it positive all the time so that i would be in my best shape for studying.
if one could be a studying machine and not having to deal with all these lonely emotions, he/she could be the best and would finish studying in no time. but we are humans, warm blooded humans. there’s such things as hormones in our body that regulate all sorts of activities including our emotions. when extensive stress is induced, there’s no telling of how much damage it could cause. one can come to nervous breakdown if the emotions are not managed properly. otherwise the stress could be turned into a moving force to keep pushing yourself forward.
exam thrills me. i feel that i could become an expert in this subject when i finish studying that particular subject, thoroughly. i like the feeling of "knowing" and finally understanding what the lecturer is "skatching" on the board, which before this seems like worms to me… (i mean this for microbiology only…hehe).the process of preparing is enriching, but at the same time i think it’s the loneliest period of the studying life for me here….
