the story about the nail and the hammer…
i once read in some forwarded mail… about this story…
it goes something like a father asking the son to hit the nail into a wood with a hammer whenever he feels angry..the son did as he told. then the father told him to pull out the nail when he doesn’t feel angry anymore…
when the nails were pulled off, the mark of the nail stays in the wood.
then the father told the son: whenever u are angry you say harsh words, do bad things, hurting those around who cares about u….in the end of the day, you might reconcile with them, but the mark will always stay there….forever..
i do realise i have rather bad temper…and everything is written on my face whenever i am angry. i do not like to hide my feelings, as i might develope psychologic problem from that..
i know that at times i say harsh words….which is getting more often recently…. just because i can’t bare to see the injustice…happening to me or other people…sometimes maybe for no particular reason…
sometimes i was joking, but there are people who take it the hard way….
it’s very funny. i communicate with some of my groupmates with rather loud voices. i think i inherited this from my mom’s side of the family. i feel comfortable communicating that way….maybe it’s because we are rather close after 2 years+ studying together edi… i am myself when i speak without needing to consider the formality and stuff…. but those who don’t understand will take it as if i’m scolding them…. of course i do practise sarcasm at times… but really, i have no intention of hurting anyone at all…
so u can see the difference between the way of communication between me and different people…not because i like to pretend…but there are people who do not allow me to express myself…as me of course….but anyhow, i’ll try my best to express myself as genuine as possible….minus the "loud" part….
i know myself hurting alot of people when i say harsh words. sometimes even when i do not say it out loud, my expression can affect the mood of other people….so my mom said..
and sometimes….i hurt people without myself even knowing it…
my bad temper come fast and go even faster…..once i let go my emotion….i will feel better.. and the next minute….i’ll be smilling and joking again……and i really do not keep grudges….nor do i remember them…
but very often, the "marks" that i leave in other people stay.esp to those who do not understand my wierd behaviour…
i want to apologize to everyone whom i have hurt for the past few months….( those further back, sorry la….i can’t remember….seriously…) sorry for the harsh words when i am angry… sorry if i’ve hurt anyone during my conversation….i’m also very sorry if my way of communicating doesn’t fit your protocol….
to my groupmates, i’m sorry if the way of me being myself hurts you in some way…..but no hard feelings ok….i apologize if i’ve hurt you in anyway….
but i know, you are hurt because u care…..hehe..
and i would like to forgive those who leave "marks" with their hammer and nails in my heart…if those people are seeking for forgiveness la i mean…( not that i can remember now..)
to those "silent" readers out there…somewhere…my advice is…if u have anything bo song(unsatisfied) with me…please….tell me in my face… i am lazy to play cold war with you…because i believe u will be exhausted because if i do not know about it…
let’s quarrel, fight, or anything…. you will feel better after that…..
after all, what’s the point of anger if the person you are angry of doesn’t know about it?? you will end up hurting yourself.. wasting your enrgy and time while the person is happily living his/her life…
sigh….contradicting myself again….
