life isn’t supposed to be that hard…
right now, i wish somebody would tell me that….
took this phrase from grey’s actually…when she told that a girl trying to keep up with her mom’s excellent performance in whatever she does…under severe stress and pressure she did some stupid thing…
i have been feeling the same lately….it’s like really exhausting…although i’m having an easy cycle right now…practically nothing much to do… but still, maybe i’m giving myself too much pressure… but i dun feel the satisfaction of what i do right now anymore…
it feels kinda lonely, empty, although i may look normal….but after i come back from classes, when no one is around, the feeling keeps coming back….and it’s getting stronger and stronger…
and i’m easily frustrated now… easily irritated… i dunno why….
how i wish that whenever i’m under such stress, somebody, anybody at all, will come to me and tell me, relax, you are living life too hard…..it isn’t suposed to be so difficult…you are doing great now, it’s time for u to take a rest….
the problem with me is that i can’t seemed to allow myself to rest….when the thing i’m supposed to do is not done, i’ll try to finish it. then, when it’s done, i’ll try to find new things to do…. well, maybe it’s the sense of insecurity…..afraid of that feeling of "emptiness" when i have nothing else to do….
the problem with the society nowadays, on the other hand, is they do not tell you when enough is enough.they tend to drain every single trace of energy you have. they will keep expecting more from you, more and more…untill you fall down…that’s when they see your limit, and stop expecting more from you…
and this synergetic reaction will end up with me being a psychotic….hehe..
i am glad that my parents do not give me such pressure. they always ask me to do my best.and if i were to fail, as long as i’ve tried my best, it’s ok with them….
"never settle for less than your best"
i like this phrase too… i wanna do my best in whatever i do so that i won’t regret looking back in my past later on… but on the other hand, i wish i could know when i’m overdoing it, when i should stop…because being my best all the time is very tiring….
i have high ambition. i wanna climb up really high in the future…but in the end of the day, my dream is to live a peaceful and less hectic life….drinking tea in the rocking chair and enjoying the view of small children playing while my wife is cooking omelet in the kitchen…
i know that i am putting high hopes on myself….maybe too high…i know life can be more simple…. i know i should relax…but it’s often more easier said than done…
"life isn’t supposed to be so hard"….i believe that if we were to tell that to any person who intend to kill himself/herself that, we might be able to save them from committing suicide…
