on 31st of august 2006….
malaysia celebrates its 49th birthday…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA!
most of the people i know don really celebrate this event. it’s just another holiday for them.
i myself don really like 31st of august. each year on this day, i have to bid farewell to all my friends and families to go back to russia. it’s kinda of sad day for me.
i’m currently in putrajaya typing this. sorry i didn’t say goodbye to everybody. i can’t bare the emotion having to say goodbye….it’s just too hard to me. i don’t want all my friends to see me……crying…
i feel moody and empty now. i don laugh at jokes anymore. don feel like shopping with my cousins, don feel like eating…. i juz wanna sit at one corner alone…not doing anything…
guess i’m too used to holidays edi. i dunno how to readapt to russia’s life anymore. the fear is coming back…as if it’s the first time i’m going there.
during these 2 months, i’m too used to friend’s company. i wonder what would i do without them now.
funny i didnt have this feeling last year. or maybe it wasn’t as strong….i think this year i spend more time with my friends and do more interesting stuff…had some fun fun memory now..
i tot the cold weather in russia has numbed my feeling. i tot i have grown out of my emotional self. but then i was wrong. the warmth i feel from malaysia, from all my friends and families is making me more reluctant to go back now…
i just feel like crying…
ok…back to merdeka.
to me, malaysia is my home. it’s a fact. nothing can be done to change it. and i would not want to be anywhere else in this world.
in malaysia i have known all my friends, those that cannot be found anywhere else in the world. so, i’m thankful my home is here.
on this holiday i have seen changes in this lovely country i call home. it’s not a pleasant change. and i’m kinda dissapointed what my home has turned into.
political drama, murder, robbery has become the headlines of the papers EVERY SINGLE DAY. oh god, what is my home turning into?
when i was in russia and i see these cases happen, i would tell myself : it’s ok, at least back home, there are still peace…
but apparently this is not the case anymore.
i hope i would not resort into staying in russia after my study there, as i want to return home… but if this scenario keeps repeating, soon, my beloved home will turn into a hell which even i dun wanna come back…
to my lovely home: please behave yourself while i’m gone, change for the better, not for worse and keep my firends and families protected from all evil….please..i beg u…
to those politician who plays drama on their own stage, becoming both the director as well as the actor, juz know that while you syok sendiri creating lies to cheat others, the only person who is cheated is yourself. the facts don’t lie.
if u wanna continue killing each other, go ahead…but be reminded that you are sailing on the same boat. you will only create chances for ur enemy to attack u…
please lead my home to success and victory, not destrusction. i would not forgive u for destroying my home.
this reminds me of a chinese poem: Quatrain of seven steps七步诗
煮豆特作羹，Zhu3 Dou4 Te4 Zuo4 Geng1,
漉鼓以为汁。Lu4 Gu3 Yi3 Wei4 Zhi1.
萁在釜下燃，Qi2 Zai4 Fu3 Xia4 Ran2,
豆在釜中泣。Dou4 Zai4 Fu3 Zhong1 Qi4.
本是同根生，Ben3 Shi4 Tong2 Gen1 Sheng1,
相煎何太急? Xiang1 Jian1 He2 Tai4 Ji2?
Boiling the beans to create the soup,
filtering them to extract the juice.
The beanstalks were charred amidst the flames,
and of this the beans thus wailed:
"Borne are we of the same root, brothers two;
should you now burn me with such disregard?"
an advice: the next time u are thinking of killing each other, please stop awhile and sing "Negaraku"……
happy birthday, malaysia…i’ll be missing you…
