SECRET CORNER OF THANATOS

   2nd law of thermodynamics : energy systems have a tendency to increase their entropy rather than to decrease it.

entropy: degree of disorder/chaos.

i think i totally obey this law!!…

my room is in a mess right now. and from the pass experience, no matter how hard i try to make it orderly, they would always have a way to turn into a total mess again in no time!

and bringing  things back to its order takes alot of energy…if i clean up my room thoroughly, it would take me more time than to study for a subject (not that i ever study for so long)…..which is why my room remians like this through long period of time….

have u ever think that your life is in a mess?? everything seems to be out of control? don worry then. you are just following the flow of the universe. learn to live with it.

out of the 12 zodiac signs, virgo has the tendency to go against this law. they are always trying very hard to make things in order,labeling stuff, arranging them in alphabetical order….etc. they can’t stand disorderliness. the same things happens in their life, they are often striving  very hard to make things in Perfect order, to have full control of everything,.that is why when they fail to do so, they would be in despair….

i admit my life is in a mess now. time of study, meal, etc is often not in my control. but i think this could be a way to train my "flexibility" to face any sudden unexpected challenges.

some disorders can be fixed. eg, messy room, anxious crowd, disturbed mind…

while some entropy and permanant and irreversible : shattered mirror, damaged health, and broken heart….

although much effort is put into making them back in order, there will always be traces of entropy remains…..

There was a religious person. Let him be the Monk.

He follows the teaching of a book….let it be the Holy book.

Written in the Holy book: “follow what the book says and you will go to heaven where the God is”.

Being a very religious people, he followed what the book  and the religion told him to do.

His religion teaches him to pray everyday. So that’s what he did. He follows every protocol and moves as written in the Holy book.

His religion told him not to drink alcohol. And he follows them strictly. He never touched a single drop of alcohol in his life.

The book says that he should not do anything that would arouse his sexual desires. And so he did everything he could to suppress this animal instinct of his.

He is a very religious person. He’s done every single thing written in the holy book.

He is very proud that he had done a great job, doing everything written in the Holy book. He is quite sure that he holds the key to heaven now. And naturally, he would think that those who do not act or behave like him would not deserve to go to the same place. Thus, he tend to look down and even criticize those people from time to time……..

Although he’s a good servant of God, he is not a very good person socially. He is arrogant, demanding, fussy and would do anything in his power (or sometimes beyond that) to get what he wants, or at least in his eyes, to make things happen like how it “should” be.

Any mistake or bad things he does, he would say that it is not prohibited by the holy book and get away from punishment. “in the name of God”, he used his religion as protective shield against all his mistakes

He has a neighbor. Once the neighbor asked him to teach his son the knowledge he know in his religion. He was reluctant at first to share the key to heaven. But after the neighbor begged again and again….he finally agreed at a price: to give him all his belonging. Of course in his right site of mind, he did not do that. So he accused the neighbor as being not sincere enough to learn that religion.

The on the next day, the monk found that he finished his rice. Needing to eat rice everyday, he seek for the neighbor for them, knowing that he would spare him some, since he always does. But the neighbor was out that time and left the door unlock, by  accident. Being very impatient, he has decided to find his own way to the kitchen through the opened door. The found the sack of rice just beside the rack. But it wasn’t opened yet. So he instinctively took a pair of scissors and cut the sack open and took the amount of rice he needed. He did not even bother to close them back, thinking that what he done is right. (because he is “never wrong”).

On his way back from the neighbor’s house, he met the neighbor who had just came back… he told the neighbor that he took his rice from the kitchen, without any sense of guilt. “Now”, he said, “bring your son to see me tomorrow. I’ll teach him something”.

If you were the neighbor, what would your reaction be??

the monk is too obsessed with meeting with up the God at the end of his day, that he forgot to live his life when he is still in this world. Probably, he is loved by God when he does everything in the Holy book. But at the same time, he is a hated person socially. But he does not care about it. Because he thinks that whatever happens he would still go to heaven. In the end of the day, only God determines his fate and to Him and only Him that he would need to answer to.

I wonder, there are so many teaching and religion in this world. And every believers believes on their own religion and teaching. It’s of course good if all of them can get what they desire in the end. But the possibility of everyone doing different things, some even contrasting each other, but in the end getting the same happy ending is low. What if, I say IF, a person who has been believing something all his life, and suddenly find that what he believe is not true….what is going to happen to him?

What if this happen to the monk? What would he do then??

If you are a religious person, would you like to be like the monk?`

Note: the “monk” and “the neighbor” mentioned above is entirely fictional and represents the lowest degree of human beings or any religion possible….

This is just a scenario and may or may not be related to actual events in real life. Names have not been used to protect the personal interests of the bloggee. ( hehe…sorry for taking your lines daryl….)

how nice it would be if everything in this world is so clear cut, if we could distinguish black and white clearly without having to hesitate…

but in fact, there’s nothing absolutely black or white in this world.you will always find a darker black and brighter white. and those "less darker black" and "less brighter white" we call it as grey.

we are always in the "grey zone". nothing seemed to be certain.

in Med, i think from my studies so far, the hardest part is not to memorise or to understand(in fact it’s the easiest part). but to master all the possibilities there is. and seems that there is no end to it! for example, when you think you’ve known enough, there’s always something new for you to discover.and they develop very fast. for now i feel it’s impossible to keep up with it in all field, all subjects…..

another thing in med is that we are playing with lifes. and of course, we must be able, to some extent predict what is going to happen if we do this. but no one can be sure to say that "if i give you this med, you will be well in 3 days"."or "if we do this operation on you, you will be a healthy person again".there’s too many oughts to be considered. anything can happen in the operating room. and 2 different diseases might show the same symtom with only a slight difference. and docs should be able to detect it or he/she will get the diagnostics wrong.thus to excell in this dangerous game, it’s always convineint to use the word "should be" as a bullet proof shield…..unless you are very good in it.

on the other hand, if we represent white as good and black as evil and we take God as the ultimate good (brightest white) and Satan as the ultimate evil (darkest dark), you could see that we are always "grey" since that we can’t be better than God, or more evil than Satan. they difference is just the intensity of the "greyness"

in fact black and white need to be exist together to keep their existence. a piece of all white paper or all black paper would be just a blank paper. only the the darkest of the dark we fight the brightest brightness.( go find a dark room and close yourself inside….you will be able to detect small ray of light which u’d never see if the room was bright)…

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( thanks to friendster who has some problem uploading my words correctly, i have to take picture of it….how pathetic…(please click)

u see, actually the words are always in grey. but it looks white in dark blackground, and you can only see the grey in white background.

in real life, we can see the same act by 2 different people might cause different effect . ( the greyness that i am talking about). a bad guy and a good guy doing the same "not good, not bad act" would be very good for the bad guy and bad for the good guy. in other words, if you are always good to others, and one days you suddenly do something less good, ppl will think you are very bad. and if u are always bad and one day u do something less bad, ppl will think you are  good.

very often we can’t really distinguish black and white, good and bad….etc. that clearly. there’s always 2 sides to each story. a selfish person might be thinking only of himself and seemed bad to other people, but he’s doing good for himself. you can’t be absolutely correct or absolutely wrong in each situation. it always depend on the "degree"of your "goodness" or "badness"

they say there’s a thin line between good and evil( white and black). but i beg to differ. i think there’s a whole field of "grey zone" seperating black and white, depends on individuals to set the "line" seperating them.

but sadly, human mind cannot process both black and white together at the same time.as the picture would show , you can see vase, and if you look carefully, you can see 2 faces. BUT, you just cannot see both of them together(at the same time).

very often we cannot see both side of each situation. we only determine it based on a single peception and hold it strongly that we refuse to believe the other side exist…. and it’s hard to change our perception once we’ve determined it.

maybe this is the limit of the human mind….