“i know how you feel”
a lesson i got from my english tuition teacher in form 5 : Never say "i know how u feel" unlees you really mean it.
some feelings you can only get from experience. not imagination. through imagination, you can only compare it with the strongest feeling you had in the past….and probably it’s a stronger feeling than that u’ve ever experienced. probably it’s in the middle, probably it’s a mixed feeling. as complex as your mind could be, you cannot really feel the "real feeling"….
sometimes we utter this phase to comfort a sad person, to make them feel better. to let them know that we, too share their pain. but if the person in despair knows that you do not mean what u say, they will get offended and angry….
for example, if a person experienced death of close family, siblings, or best friends….. and the saddest things happened to me before was the death of my dog. of course i would feel very very very sad then, but how could i compare them both and say it’s the same, and i know that feeling?
the same goes for love. there’s no use telling other people how great ur relationships are, how good is your partner to a person who hasn’t fall in love before, because as exciting as you describe it, the person can only imagine….and he tries to form the "ideal" image in mind based on what u tell him, altho in reality it might not be that wonderful…..
…just like no one can feel how we live in russia when u are sitting comfortably at home back in malaysia, even if you’ve been to…..say…..china…..hehehe….
that is why the tem "i know how you feel" only mean that u really understand how the person feels through experience. of course you do not need to experience death of your close one to comfort a person who are suffering from it…. you could say "i feel your pain", "it would be over soon"……
or a simple hug may be the best medicine……
"when i am crying, do not talk to me. if u want to shut me up, hug me."
