my tears…
i admit, that i do cry,despite what people say that a boy(man) should not cry no matter what, even when you are bleeding….
of course, i won’t cry when i’m bleeding….coz if i don’t stop the bleeding quick, i’ll loose to much blood and die…hehehe
i did not abstain myself from crying. i didn’t see the reason to hide my own feelings…
crying is the only inborn ability a baby has when he’/she is unable to express him/herself verbally to attract other’s attention to attend his needs….when a person is unable express him/herself verbally,he/she recall his/her inborn instinct…..to cry….
i remeber when i was in primary school…some classmates tease me for some things i can’t remember….i argued with that person untill i cry…not only that…i cried many times for several reason untill almost everyone from keh seng would know that i like to cry alot
i cried when i quarreled with my mom…
i cried when i saw sad things happening around me
i cried when i sawtouching scene in tv/movies….this one i can’t control…(it’s involuntary action of the brain when the emotion reaching the peak….)
seems kinda pathetic huh?? but i’m not ashamed of it, and not afaid to admit it…
they say the eyes is the window to the soul…..and so the tears would cleanse the eyes so that the soul has clearer excess to the world…so that it is able to see the through the window clearer….seeing the whole picture….looking from another view of the world….
at the same time…..the tears nourish the exhausted soul….enabling it to rise once again to face the challenges that once pulled him down
i remember last time whenever i have exam/test…..i would cry the night before….hating myself for not able to remember what i read….but din’t realise it…but guess it was a way of releasing stress and tension….then i found that i can amazingly remember what i can’t before…
i cry when i’m afraid…..but after crying…i found that i am not afraid anymore
laugh at me when i cry…but know that everytime i cry, i would only be stronger, stronger and stronger…and my tears wold not drop again for the same reason
the last time i cried in public was in form 2…..after that..i learnt that this competitive society cannot accept a whimp…so i would cry alone in the room when no one is around…or in the bathroom, letting my tears drops togehter with the water in the shower…..
as i get older….i find less and less reason for me to cry… am not afraid of what i used to afraid of…. and i learnt how to protect myself, buliding walls around me, immune myself against those who are trying to hurt me……
here in russia, have not found someone who is worth my tears for…..maybe no one i care enough to cry for….i dunno….(maybe is the cold weather )
i tot maybe i cried too much when i was young…..that my tears dried off edi….
but today when i watch the series ‘healing hands3" when the doctor who almost give up got the support from his patients….my eyes felt pain….tears kept flowing…..uncontrolable……
am glad that i still possess this inborn gift that many try to suppress….to know that i’m not clod blooded…still able to cry….
