selfish? selfless?
have you ever lend a helping hand sincerely when the person you help ask you what do you gain from all that??
i have been doing group studying since secondary school….everytime we would discuss some topics which might be unclear in school….or maybe just for the sake of revision..
i have developed some of my own study techniques and would very much like to share with others…
all these while the people that i’m working with are fine….we produce results together and feel the satisfactory together….
Mr Z is my coursemate in nizhny novgorod. he had some problems with studies. and he is one of the few people i think has the potential in this field…onli becoz of some trouble in english…
so i offered to do group studies together. we would discuss some difficult topics together…same principle as with the secondary school’s method with some modification…
we’ve been through a few session…and i think he’s making some improvement…
but then he suddenly stopped. he din come anymore. when i ask him why, he asked me back in return: "what do you get by tutoring me?"
wtf? since when i "tutor" him?…and can’t i help him out of care?…i mean i take him as a friend and would like to see us graduate together….is that wrong??
he was also saying that he feels that he slows my progress…although i’ve explaint to him that it’s a good revision for me…i mean come on, if i would care about that, i would not suggest it in the first place right?? i would have considered everything before doing it..
something happened…he ended up doing something totally out of my expectation….180 degree change in his character…wasn’t that concern about the studies anymore…and gives himself excusses for not doing well..
we don’t talk to each other anymore…
did i do something wrong??
you know, being questioned about your wholeheartedness is something very saddening for me. giving a helping hand with all my heart and get a cold shoulder in return, that is sth i couldn’t bare with. makes me rethink why i would even bother in the first place.
is it just me? can’t i do something because i care? why must i gain something? i tot friends were suppose to help each other without minding about that stupid thing…
do the rest of the world think of what they gain and how they can profit from doing something everytime before they do it?
to my friends out there, in the future if i offer any help to you….please let me do it(if you think i can help la)…if there’s any condition, i will tell you the conditions in advance….if i don tell that means i help you FOC….take it as i hutang you in my past life…
many incidences like this happened made me loose my passion and desire to help slowly…slowly i think maybe i should just mind my own business….to protect myself from unnecessary damage.
5 years later….maybe i’ll come out of uni becoming a cold hearted doctor…..
